Chances are you fit into this category. He talks on Vent when needed, is fairly adaptive to the instance, pays decent attention, fufills his class role adequately, and doesn't cause too many problems.
The Pessimist
This dude always sees the worst in things. He'll say things over Vent like "[Main Tank] is at 90%, it's a wipe" and means it. If your group wipes at all, no matter how preventable it was, he'll either leave the raid or complain that it's going to be "a long night." Even after successes, this guy will say stuff like, "that was really sloppy, we almost didn't make it."
The Optimist
Arch-nemesis of the pessemist, the optimist will see the silver-lining in everything. Expect to hear things like "That was a great attempt! We got Vael all the way to 29%!" and "All we need to do is keep the MTs up, do more dps, stop dying, and we've got this." Even if your raid is absolute $!@% that day, The Optimist will celebrate all accomplishments.
The Cusser
Swears profusely about everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. He'll swear when your group is idle in front of the two beginning giants. This dude can be very funny, especially if he has an accent. He's almost always drunk and will suually tell you he's drunk multiple times.
The Clown
Provides good entertainment for your raid. Does impressions, tells jokes, sings/raps, plays sound clips... you name it, this guy does it over Vent. His main flaw is that he will do this at the worst times, including in the middle of boss fights. This guy can overlap quite easily with The Cusser.
The @$%!@%&
Damn, I hate this guy. Every time your group wipes he will immediately try and blame someone and/or anyone. If he makes a mistake, he'll come up with some BS excuse for it ("I lagged into Ragnaros; that's why I pulled aggro!", etc.) At least one wipe he will claim that it was your class that caused it, even when it was probably his class too. Example: Your raid gets to Onyxia. Your warlocks don't bother with an SS, being told that anyone who rezzes will pull aggro on Onyxia and that SSes are useless for wipe-control. Mid-fight the main tank dies, druids have no battle rez. Your group wipes. The @$%!@%&, a druid, immediately starts screaming that the warlocks are incompetent for not placing a soulstone. A warlock asks him why the MT wasn't battle-rezzed; he replies that "all the battle-rezzes were used on mages." He then continues to blame the warlocks. (This actually happened to me.) He's probably buddies with at least one officer, if not an officer himself. Tends to overlap with The Pessimist.
The Princess
NOTE: This does not describe all female players, only a certain breed of them.
The Princess will flirt with everyone, and I mean EVERYONE. She almost always gets loot over people with more dkp, due to either her flirting with all the people above her or a "slip-up" by the Master-Looter. If she's decent-looking, everyone knows what her Myspace is. If she isn't decent-looking, she'll pretend she is. She probably talks in a really high-pitched voice. She knows at least one other raider in RL and will defend him on any issue no matter what; the whole raid will probably start taking his side too to suck up to The Princess.
The Panicker
Mid-battle will start screaming about anything that happens to him or to the raid in general. Some of his favorite lines: "I'm mind-controlled! HELP! HELP!" on Luci, "PRIEST DOWN!" repeatedly, "I'M DEAD, BATTLE-REZ ME!" if he's a rogue, "ADD UNSHEEPED!" on Domo, etc. Usually the $!@% he complains about isn't anything worth worrying about.
The Vent/DKP !@#@
Constantly suggests that Vent-talk should be muted for everyone but the Main Tank. Hordes his dkp like mad and won't work with you on any item (ex: he has an epic belt and you have a green belt, your class belt drops, he takes it despite you asking if you can work something out). Amazingly, tends to have more dkp and less items than anyone in the raid, somehow.
The AFK guy
Is AFK during EVERYTHING. He's rarely in Vent (to listen for boss fights) even if he is at his keyboard, and he usually isn't. Typically places himself on Follow to avoid people noticing. He's $!@% last for his class on the Damage/Healing meter and never does his class job. He's usually there in time for boss fights but will probably alt+tab again after the fight is done and loot has been distributed. When confronted on his bad DPS, he'll come up with an excuse ("I'm a fire mage/shadow priest/feral druid/not geared/on the phone/bad connection!").
The Passer
Will pass on everything they can use, even if it's a big upgrade for them, because "someone else can use it more." If this person is a mage, there's a good chance he's saving up for a Mageblade.
The Quiet Guy
Never talks on Vent, ever. If he has a mic, it's probably dusty as hell. When he talks, the things he says are so funny that you'll wonder why he doesn't talk more often.
The Damage Meter Obsessive-Compulsive
Obsesses over being #1 on the damage/healing meters. Re-syncs everyone's meters after every boss and every other trash mob. Only stops after being threatened with no loot and/or a /gkick, then reverts to his old ways on the next run. Has no sense of caution on any fight and will ignore or disobey orders to stop attacking when aggro is an issue. Does other stupid things like crazy healings on Razor phase one, backstab-spamming the offtank's target, etc.
The Loot !@!#&
Complains often that he never gets loot. Usually tries to use a pathetic appeal to get other people in his class to pass on items he wants. Is usually well-geared despite what what he presents. Will bid on EVERYTHING without scruples, usually getting them because no one wanted, and usually has the lowest dkp in the raid.
The Guy That Yells Too Damn Loud
Can't ever control his volume in Vent. Good, Bad, whatever the situation is he's probably screaming loudly about it. If he fiddles with his outbound, either you won't hear him at all or your speakers/headphones will !&$%ing explode.
The Dude With the Freaky a** Voice
Often from another country or down in the Deep South of the US. Nobody is capable of understanding him so he's usually ignored. Sometimes is mixed with The Guy That Yells Too Damn Loud which complicates things and is very annoying. Depending on his coherence he can easily become the Clown.
The Activist
Tries to look out for the raid, at the expense of a few of the raid members. If he's not the raid leader or guild leader/officer, he'll almost certainly be hated. Will try and end any argument that pops up in your raid, frequently with threats that he can hopefully back up. Hates wasting time and will get pissed every time your raid wipes or on any other delay at all. Gets very impatient on loot and will occasionally force it on people if there is enough of a problem. May try to be inspirational, trying to push the raid onto the next boss, but can get frustrated faily easily and will insult the raid into movement if needed. Tends to hang with only a few people in the guild, most likely other officers. This character can overlap with the Vent !@#@ and a few others, and tends to hate The Cusser or The Clown.
The Complainer
Complains about everything possible. Not really an @$%!@%& or a jerk - just that whenever something goes wrong to this person, they complain about it. "WOW will someone get this !&$%ing mob off me? I can't do my damn job when the tanks aren't doing theirs." or "Wow, nice lag tonight Blizzard. Oh wait that's every night. Screw BWL, I'm tired of this laggy $!@%." or when we're pvping "WOW I LOVE HOW ." If this character is not very good and/or dies a lot, he can be extremely annoying.
The Attention !@!#&
During raids especially, when the most people are on vent, will start talking about his personal life like we really care that much. Will bring up real life issues when we're in the middle of something and people just aren't interested. Usually he'll keep at it until someone pays some kind of attention to him. Example: "Man it sucks that I have to be at this raid tonight, cause I'm pretty depressed since my girlfriend just broke up with me. Apparently she fell for some guy who just got out of prison for sexual assault. I don't know what's up with her, but I think I'm gonna go pour rice into her carburetor after we down Vael. Oh and tomorrow I can't come to Onyxia, I have an appointment with my psychologist. I punched my sister yesterday so my mom's making me see one." Usually people just don't respond, but you can just tell they're dying for the attention. The Princess usually falls into this category.
Armchair Raid Leader
Is quiet most of the time but when an encounter gives the raid trouble, he is quick to suggest a million impractical and poorly thought out strategies which he considers to be foolproof ("Okay, let's get in a circle around Golemagg and have everyone fight for ranged aggro so that he stays in the middle and doesn't attack anyone!"). No one pays attention to him and he will never actually lead a raid.
The Dictator
Nines times our of ten, the Dictator plays the roll of guild leader. If he is not guild leader, he be found as the guild's raid leader. Basicly he is the one that gives all the orders during a raid. Prefers to take away TS/vent speaking privilages from everyone else in the raid, besides those he trusts, aka his right hand man, his cronies, and the MT. Creates a seperate voice channel for healers to speak to each other so he can ignore them but they can still hear him. Does not allow anyone to type in raid unless it is constructive. Instead a /join channel is used for all the worker bees to talk. He dictates every aspect of loot, forcing loot down the throats of passers, and denying it from Loot !@!#&s that will use it once in a blue moon. He has a horrible voice and $!@%ty mic, but you are forced to listen to him 24/7. If you dont like the way he does something, you have no room to speak, because he knows all, and in most cases he does know all. You fear to even cross his path because his 6-7 cronies that follow him as their leader would do anything to protect him. The dictator tells you what to do, 39 follow. Raiding is treated like a chore with him. Overlaps heavily with The Activist but never does things as nicely.
The Late Guy
Shows up late to everything without notice. If invites are 6 server, he shows up at 9 asking for an invite. Often demands full dkp for the time he missed.
The Updater
Tells you everything about the current fight every three seconds. "Golemagg at 86%... I'm out of mana, innervate... tank low health, heal... Golemagg at 85%!" Tends to be a healer, and if not he gets ignored really quickly.
He of 1,000 alts
This person has a level 60 of every class... sometimes two. He or she may be willing to switch to benefit the raid, but the downsides are that: 1) None of those characters are particularly well-geared and 2) He or she often forgets which character he or she is currently playing. This can leads to all kinds of hilarity... and wipes. If your guild has more than one raid, he will insist that one of his alts gets placed in the second raid over other peoples' mains.
The Pretender
While not a great leader, does his best to lead his raid through. He (and probably his whole raid) is probably a joke to the other guilds. Usually finds a good excuse to pick up loot over others. Has little to no raiding experience despite loud claims to the contrary.
The Tired One
Signs up/Comes to every raid he or she can, and then leaves sometime within the first two bosses because they're too tired and they've worked all day and have to work tomorrow. Can be a real pain if he/she does not give notice.
The New Guy
Even though he plays his class well he is constantly sending tells to his class leader and raid leader "How am I doing" "was that my fault" "I know I am new but..". Rarely speaks in raid chat but when he does its usually several lines of text recounting every raid he has been on and every guild he has been in. Apologizes for every little thing and constantly thanks the guild for inviting him and taking him.
The Under-Confident Raid leader
This guy waits for a full raid before the first pull. Will often call a raid if somone leaves citing the reason as "not enough people." When a wipe occurs blames himself and only himself. Is very cautious on everything and will often tell the raid to wait for 5 sunders on trash mobs.
The Bomb
You won't know he's in your raid until he explodes. He may get into a few minor conflicts in the guild/raid but probably won't be suspected of anything. When he's pushed too far, he will wipe the raid outright, or worse, ninja a boss's loot when you're doing FFA. Rarely gets into a different guild/raid.
The Inflamer
Will bring up controversial societal issues and inflame people on purpose. People used to him get a good laugh, new raiders will sometimes be offended/confused. Can be extremely radical ("All drugs should be legalized!") or just moderately controversial ("George W. Bush is the greatest/worst President ever!").
The Impatient Puller
The IP wants no downtime on the run. Will pull the next group of mobs when the healers/ mages/locks are out of mana and drinking. This is usually a melee class. Contradicting his need for speed, he will be first to complain about you looting in battle when you didn't have time to loot before he pulled.
The Gossip Queen:
Speaks mostly in /whispers to many people in the raid. He/she knows all the drama going on between the members of the guild and frequently will talk behind the back of people he/she doesn't like. Is known to cause a lot of drama to win loot with his "he said, she said" tactics. Is also known for the occasional very hilarious and sometimes embarrasing mistell in raid chat like, "Yeah I can't believe that Kitty cybered Rogueblade last night."
The Guild Spy
This person normally comes from the notorious guild of the server, brought to fill a slot. He sets up with guild officers from the notorious guild to infiltrate the best guilds on the server to steal strategies and if the worst case scenario comes along… ninja loots all the items on Onyxia/Nefarian because its on FFA loot. High-End guilds must always be wary of such scum.
The Guildist
This is one you will only see in guild alliance raids. It is often an officer or leader of one of the guilds. He/she will try to come up with excuses for the other guild(s) and their members to not get any loot, and will blame them if something goes wrong, even though it was blatantly obvious that it was one of his/her guildies that screwed up. Whenever one of these are involved, guild alliances will crumble fast.
The Pervert:
Makes a sexual reference about anything and everything on vent. Usually pretends to be gay with another member of the guild. Overlaps with The Clown.
The Jackass
Known to everyone in the guild as "The !&$%er who hit the gate on Chromaggus the second Ebonroc died, vanished, and laughed at us in vent". Whomever this is has a laid back personality, insults everyone constantly, undermines the authority of the raid leader, and pulls mobs before the raid is ready, but for some reason he still keeps coming to raids. This is the guy that sends you a tell going ' NICE JOB !&$%FACE ' when you go OOM and he dies, but when you die he dances on your corpse. Sometimes he occupies a position of importance, which explains his length of stay, but gets kicked sometimes when the Princess talks to the Raid Leader about how uncomfortable he makes her, you know, just saying.
The "Pro"
He's been to this boss fight-- tons of times. In fact, on his Horde alt, he killed this boss and got the chestpiece *and* a rare epic 2h weapon from him. He also has 10k health, unbuffed, thanks to all of his epic gear, and 2 legendaries. No matter the situation, the pretender will most likely have done it, better, on his opposite faction alt, but why he's playing this one is beyond you. 90% of his information is also incorrect about raid encounters ("In my guild, we all stand in a ring in front of Vaelastrasz, and ranged DPS him.. When you get BA, run to Vael, and blow up on him! That's how you kill him. Wanna try that?") When pressed about the guild and server, he says things like " On.. Kalecgos. The guild is small, you wouldn't have heard about it.. hey, did I tell you about how my guild got to C'thun? Yeah, the Twin Emperors were really easy, even if you had to kill one at the time, and their enrage when the other died was crazy!"
Mr. 4Chan/Ytmnd/WoW.com Forums
Thinks every internet fad they've ever seen or heard about is the most hilarious thing in the universe, and has to share it with the Raid. He has a massive amount of internet knowledge, has millions of pictures, and can bring up any oft-repeated phrase for hours at a time for no reason. Going from ' no wai ' to ' naga stole my [arcanite reaper] ' to ' [perdition's blade] GOES HERE D: ' golemagg doesn't change facial expressions!, ' he's sometimes funny, but the humor wears thin the 90th time you've said a raid command in /rs and he's /yell'd back, ' O RLY? '
CAPS
Doesn't talk in Vent or Teamspeak-- always in /raidchat, and always in full capital letters. Often times wants attention, but rarely gets it.
Darth Vader
Insists that he has push-to-talk enabled but 5 minutes later... hoh... PAH! hoh... PAH!
The Little Brother
A clearly immature player who has recently dinged 60 and now fully expects to be invited to 20- and 40-man raids. Fills raid chat with "Oh, I hope that <whatever> drops tonight!" and instantly states "<class> item!" on every drop. Seems put off when loot goes to others instead of him. Youthfully enthusiastic, he tries to organize raid runs and strategies independently of the RL, rarely with any success.
The Just-In-Timer
While others are assembling or parking their toons for a scheduled run, these players are grinding in Silithus/EPL/Winterspring/battlegrounds until the last possible moment. Usually ask for summons too. Insists it's the warlocks' job to summon him rather than his own job to get to the instance.
The Independent Spirit
A player who refuses to gear appropriately or fill a raid role. Goes nuts when someone criticizes their build (probaably a 51-point dump in one area), form, or refusal to heal/tank/CC/whatever, usually with the phrase "Don't f-----g tell me how I should play. I pay $15 a month and I'll do whatever I want."
The Lousy Off-Tank
Why this guy is your backup is beyond you. He has maybe 330 defense, if that. His FR ranges in the low 80s whe he has the Paladin/Shaman buff on Rag fights. He dual-wields a Barman Shanker and a Thrash Blade when tanking. He hasn't grasped the concept of "Defensive Stance." Yet he is always called upon by your MT to get that spare Molten Giant. Every time an epic 2h weapon drops, expect him to make loud noises to get this item.
The Greedy Roller
Tends to be a hybrid-ish class )Paladin, Shaman, Hunter, Druid). When an item drops with +spell/healing, this player will insist that [Healing Class] should get to roll on it when mages/warlocks could get more use out of it (Mageblade comes to mind). Will usually argue vaguely that "it has +healing too, so it must be for Paladins!" Worse still will be Priests that ask for a one-hander, ugh. Get your damn Benediction! The Greedy Roller will probably cause a small crisis the first time he shows up in a new raid.
The ADD Kid
This guy is annoying as hell. His voice could break glass, his skills in the game could break a WoW record low, and pretty much everything he says is off-topic to the raid. Almost always tries to be a Clown and usually is a Damage Meter Obsessive-Compulsive (even though his status on it fluctuates often). If you can get this guy mad enough, you'll have entertainment for weeks (though he'll turn Bomb quickly and then beg for a re-invite the next day).
The Gender-Bender
Most often found in male players, this person plays a character of the opposite gender from thier own, and gets really hot under the collar if you use the same gender pronoun for both. What they usually fail to realize is that people only tease them becasue they get so irate about it. If they'd just let is drop, no one would care anymore.
The Idiot Typer
This player slaughters the English language every chance he gets. Fragments, run-on sentences, numbers 4 words or 13773rs, no punctuation or awful use of it, Yoda-like sentence structure, or worse. You may not be a grammar-fascist but after seeing this character speak, you'll feel a strong urge temporarily. Surprisingly, this person can be quite coherent in Vent.
The Good Back-up
Man, this guy is awesome. You love taking him, he's so much fun to be around, he plays his class like no other, he rarely if ever #@%$!es about loot, he's online and at the instance right on time for invites (without being reminded in advance)... He's 100x better than whoever he replaced, making you want to bring him every time even if it means dropping the regular guy.
The BAD Back-up
Man, this guy is terrible. You hate taking him, he's a Pessimist/@$%!@%&/Loot-!@!#&, he doesn't know how to Shadowbolt, he constantly begs for loot, he shows up 30 minutes late from his AV game... He's 100x worse than whoever he replaced, making you want to beat the regular guy over the head with a stick for not showing up. The Bad Back-up will bother you all week asking if he has a spot; the best way to handle one is to claim you're full on his class, even if you're horribly lacking.
The Perfectionist
The guy who has EVERYTHING. No, really. Full Tier 1 and 2 sets, six different weapons, all the PvP gear and he's exalted with every faction in the game, including the Wildhammer Clan and Bloodsail. This is probably his only character and he certainly doesn't have a job or social life, but man does his character sparkle. Is usually quite good at what he does, epix aside.
The Victim
Quietly claims to hate everything about the WoW endgame: schedules, instance timers, guilds, voicechat, dkp. Except for epics, which he apparently wants so badly that he will stomach "the system" if it means upgrades. Plays well, but privately mutes vent and ignores other guildies for EVERYTHING. Insists on paying guild members for trade items so as not to feel beholden. If there were 5man epics, you are certain you'd never see this player in a raid again.
The Poor Dude
There's always at least one of him. Never has any gold for repairs or pretty much anything. Always shows up to your raid with broken or damaged gear, usually demanding a repair bot by Magmadar or Vael and then asking for gold for the repair. Seems to either be trying to borrow gold or paying back a debt at all times. Constantly nags the raid leader about letting him hold the Lava Cores for "safekeeping."
The "Checking For Dragons" Guy
This guy is always worried about world spawn bosses. He is so compulsive in this area that he logs out after every mob is killed to "check on the dragons". The funny part is he usually never makes it to the actual dragon killing because he has family stuff to do or kids to beat. He is often confused and/or overlaps with the AFK'er and the foreign guy.
The E-stud
This guy is as macho as it gets. He hits on everything resembling a female, asserting his ability to woo any lady, even the fictional ones. His favorite insult is the word "f4g" and proclaims regularly how easily he could whip you IRL. He makes subtle references to his intense workouts earilier in the day when he falters in a raid. And, when the raid is complete, he makes sure to reveal exactly how drunk he is going to get after he signs off, simply because he is just that good at life.
The E-Dater
Will hit on any girl in your guild or raid. He probably plays a lot with his chosen target, hanging out in battlegrounds with her, etc. Eventually he begins to feel a real connection happening, and is hurt when his feelings are not returned. Can be extremely hissy if you make fun of his e-life.
The Guy Listening to Music
The guy is always on vent, and always listening to music really loud. Whenever he speaks, you can't understand anything he's saying and produces some of the most awful noises in existence through your speakers or headphones. Insists that Unknown Band X is the best music ever and is shocked to hear that you've never heard of them or don't like them.
The Aussie
Doesn't play on your server's time-zone. Can't raid with you on weekdays. Has a funny accent that, if he overlaps with a few other characters, can be quite entertaining. He probably plays a class essential to your raid (like a Dwarf Priest) or else is extremely skilled at playing the game. The Aussie is generally a friendly, easy-going guy that rarely causes problems for the raid.
The Ignorant Looter
The guy in the raid that doesn't know his class and what gear he should have worth a damn. Frequent occurances are: hunters rolling on shaman gear, shamans rolling on hunter gear, and priests rolling on warlock gear. Another less-frequent appearance is the warlock who rolls on +defense gear over the tank because it has "a ton of stamina". Officers can't tell them not to roll because it's "my DKP and I can spend it how I please".
The Officer Demander
The guy that most frequently says "I pay my 15 bucks a month and can play how I want." However, they make it known that they expect the officers to be completely responsible for how much fun they are having. He/she refers to the officers not as people but as working stiffs who live for the sole purpose of making everyone else in the guild happy. Frequently contradicts themselves, taking the side of whoever has a problem with the officers at any given time. Their demands are sometimes completely unexcusable, but they refuse to see that and just demand that it gets done so that they may enjoy the game. This person is never an officer but you can bet that if they were, nothing would ever be their fault.
The Lucky Roller
This person usually shows up to raids unexpected and knows virtually nothing about the current instance. However, if anyone has roll hacks installed, this is the person. They will roll over 90 on items like the Heart of Hakkar (without knowing what it does) and then never show their faces in the instance ever again. Other common items are: Frayed Abomination Stitchings, Key to the City, Corruptor's Scourgestones, any reputation item in Zul'gurub or Ahn'qiraj, and Head of the Broodlord Lashlayer.
The Ex-Guildie
This person has left your guild for whatever reason (usually because their present guild was a few bosses ahead) but still hangs out in the guild-only chat channels. At their best, these people can be entertaining and perhaps helpful by providing you with advice on encounters that they know. At their worst, they can be downright annoying by A. constantly reminding you of how leet their present guild is, B. insulting people in your guild and stating repeatedly how they're so glad they're out of your guild, or C. telling you that you're bound to wipe on a fight because that's not the way their guild does it.
The Former Member of Some Other Guild
Joined your guild because his guild sucked/didn't need him/doesn't raid/sucked. He'll have some good stories from his former raid, including how it took them 4 weeks to get down Lucifron. He insists that compared to that guild, your guild/raid is incredible... at least until he leaves your guild for someone else.
Ebay
Bought his account off of Ebay. He's probably in your raid because a) the guy who used to play the character was in the raid, or b) you're despe3rate. Expect to hear stuff like "Where's Molten Core?" if the guy is coherent, which he probably isn't. You'll waste so much effort on teaching this guy how to play, only to find out that the lack of skill he'll bring to your raid makes you want to kill yourself.
The Mystery Girl
This is the girl that never says much but when she does she stops traffic. Everyone wonders if she is for real; she never gives out her age or her pictures. She is constantly spammed by guys wanting to know more about her because she won't act like an attention !@!#&. She tends to be the unconventional girl, who plays a melee class and acts like "the guys" as much as possible, and tells people off when they get too personal.
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zomg who is who?!
We can all agree ark is the dictator ('why should you do this? because I FUCKING SAY SO!'
)I want more names!
